This Morning It was 7:30 and the alarm was going off. Err... Err... Err... Err... Err... went on for an hour. Then it stopped. I could tell it was raining, the misty morning air ran over my face through my window. I opened my eyes and I couldn't take it. Lying there in bed I felt a tear crawl out of my eye down the side of my face and drop off of my ear onto my pillow. I stared at my ceiling for a few minutes while I laid on my bed and cried... Yesterday Morning The first thing I heard was my mom screaming "I CAN NOT BELIEVE YOU ARE STILL IN BED!!!" "YOU'RE ALREADY LATE AGAIN!!" "AND THIS ROOM IS A PIG-STY!" Then she SLAMMMed my door shut, stomped down the stairs, in her high heel boots, grabbed her bag and purse, jingled her keys opened the front door walked out and slammed it shut. I waited until I heard her car leave before I reached under my bed for my home made bowl. I packed it with weed from my pocket, pressed play on my C D-player, lit the bowl and took a hit right as Brad Nowelle sang "There will come a time when all that shit won't matter". After I got on my bike rode to school and wondered why my mornings suck so much?

A few days ago I was nervous coming home from school. It was tough to avoid my mom lately, there was probably something she wanted to yell at me for. I slowly crept up our drive way then quietly onto our deck and in thru the front door. I went to run up the stairs to hibernate in my room, but I didn't make it. "Michael!" she shouted from the kitchen table. "Come in here!" she ordered. regretfully I complied and responded with as much spite as I could muster, "Why?". We yelled at each other for twenty minutes, about why I sounded spiteful, until she finally told me what she wanted. She said the school called again because I was late.Then she continued and told me I missed my morning classes again. She said I would lose credit that I couldn't make it up and she wouldn't help me or talk to the school. I tried to explain that it was tough to wake up and I thought I might be depressed, but she said, "You're smarter than that!""You should know you have to go to school!" "You weren't sick, you should have been in class those days!" Eventually the conversation ended with her telling me to drop out of high school and me responding with "Fine , Fuck You!" walking out and slamming the door.

Tomorrow I wasn't expecting to happen, because after I wiped the tears away from my face, I realized I never wanted to see her again. I didn't want to be afraid of coming home anymore. I just wanted this whole thing to end. I pulled the covers off of my body and got out of bed. I was dressed still and there was an empty baggy in my pocket which I filled with all the pills I could find. I grabbed my moms unopened Bacardi and walked out the front door into the rain. I slammed the door shut and kicked the screen. Slowly I drifted away from my house over a grassy field and into the woods. I cried as I walked, a couple of times I tried screaming over the rain, but I don't think anyone heard. I walked for a few miles in the rain through the woods away from my life. I laid down in a hole I found on the side of a rock wall. I swallowed all the pills and drank until I passed out expecting.. never to see tomorrow...